Do You Think I'm Being Unfair?

Fellas and dames,

I have recently been selling my stuff on eBay. Someone bid on one of my items, then sent the following 3 days after winning:
i must say that i was excited to bid n this item however, after looking closely at the ad, you stated that the item has dents on it and I CANNOT PURCHASE THAT LIKE THAT. I collect these things and display them and i cannot display something like that i am sorry. could you cancel the transaction, i cannot pay for this sorry.
-deadbeatbidder (name changed to protect the guilty)
 What would you do? I'm awfully close to replying thusly:

I was initially happy to see you bidding on this item. However, after seeing your completely ignorant response, I can see it is very clear that you did not examine my pictures nor the auction text carefully before bidding.

Nothing has changed in the description since you bid on the item. The only thing that's changed is your attitude. If you didn't want the item as-is, you shouldn't have bid. A bid is a legal contract. I have canceled bids for people before, but they made it clear their bid was an accident. They also asked me, politely, before the auction had been completed--not 3 days after while I have the item packed and awaiting payment. You're shouting at me (CAPS) showing neither politeness nor respect.

If you want someone to be angry with, be angry at yourself for not reading or examining my auction description or pictures more closely, or not contacting me before the auction closed. If you don't want the item, complete your responsibility to me and to eBay, and then resell the item. If you refuse to pay, I will initiate non-paying bidder procedures ASAP.

For more information on eBay's policies on bidding and canceling a bid, please see http://pages.ebay.com/help/buy/questions/retract-bid.html

Have a great day,

What do you think, sirs? Am I being too tough on Monsieur Deadbeat?



Indestructible Hulks & Marvel, Nowish

Well, now.

It's been a few months since I've been around these parts. For those of you with Twitter, you know I've still been as active in my fandom as ever; I just haven't been able to blog on account of a whole host of realtime issues. The Hulk book is still forthcoming, I promise. In fact, with this very blog post, I really have to watch what I say about at least one series I want to review because its release has totally thrown a spanner into the works of the final essay I've left to write.

Am I making sense?

So. Let's get on with it, shall we? What have I been reading during the last couple of months?

INDESTRUCTIBLE HULK #1 (Marvel, $3.99) - It's true that Marvel seems to be caught in a cycle of perpetually relaunching some of their characters, and the Hulk is one of their biggest targets. It started with "Planet Hulk" in 2006 and continued through the Red Hulk launch in 2008, the re-renumbering of Incredible Hulk in 2009, the introduction of the Hulk family in the transformed Incredible Hulks series in 2010, and finally last year's rebranding courtesy Jason Aaron. As part of the "Marvel NOW!" initiative, our favorite Jolly Green Giant has once again had his series restarted, written by Eisner and Harvey Award-winning writer Mark Waid, no less!

Let's get this out of the way right now: I love Mark Waid. He's written several of my favorite comics storylines, including "The Return of Barry Allen" early in his Flash run; "Chain Lightning" and the "Dark Flash" stories late in same; "Unthinkable" and "Hereafter" in Fantastic Four; "Man and Superman" in JLA; too many Captain America stories to count; "Urban Jungle" in Ka-Zar; and, well, you get the idea. In my top ten comics writers of all time, easily. Have I mentioned yet what miracles he's worked in making me enjoy the perennially-dark Daredevil by embracing a lighter mood? No? Corrected!

So far--and I realize we're only one issue into his and Leinil Yu's run--I remain optimistic, but can't help but feel we've moved a dozen steps backward. While it's an inspired choice to have Bruce Banner accept that he and the Hulk aren't going to be rid of each other anytime soon, and while there's a germ of an interesting idea having him set up shop with the same spy organization that once was complicit in exiling him into space, there's honestly precious little here we haven't seen done better elsewhere. We saw Banner using his incredible intellect on a regular basis during the final two years of Greg Pak's run, and Lord knows how many times we've seen him bring the Hulk's strength to a big think-tank organization. (The Pantheon, anyone?)

Then there's ol' Greenskin himself. Last month, Jason Aaron gave us a fully articulate behemoth who briefly swapped places with Banner due to the old stimulus of anger before giving way to a more well-balanced behemoth. Now, Waid seems to be fully embracing anger as a trigger, which no one's really done with any regularity since 1982. Not only that, but this first story only gave us a mute misanthrope rather than the "nobody's fool" incarnation of recent memory. If Kelly Sue DeConnick's Avengers Assemble and Jonathan Hickman's Avengers are any indication, it's very likely we're seeing the full-fledged return of the savage, child-like Hulk to the Marvel Universe.

And I'd be perfectly fine with that, if not for the fact that blessed few writers actually have a knack for the character since his exeunt from virtually the entire Marvel line in 1982. Being a fan of the "classic" Marvel tropes, I'd think Waid would fit among that number, but he's stated in an interview that he's "still having a hard time pinning down an exact 'voice' for Hulk," which doesn't exactly inspire confidence seeing how he's likely more than a few issues along in his scripting efforts. And when one of Marvel's best writers has a tough time with a character's voice, well, gulp!

Waid does have plenty of time to prove me wrong. With the so-far mute Hulk, though, I'm reminded of another relatively recent writer's run--that of Bruce Jones. Spy stuff? Check. Mute Hulk? Check. Boring as hell and wildly inconsistent with what came before? Check and mate. I'm hoping that, unlike Jones, Waid remembers, as Pak and David and even Jason Aaron did, that the Hulk has his own needs and desires. Even in his childlike incarnation--the one Marvel seems intent to foist upon the reading public as result of his scene-stealing appearance in the Avengers film--he has been underestimated in terms of cunning and yes, intellect. And those are aspects that have been lost in the shuffle, atrophied from years of disuse.

Buy it. Read it. Just don't expect to be blown out of the water quite yet.

On the other hand, there's Jeff Parker, Carlo Pagulayan, and Wellinton Alves's RED SHE-HULK #60 (Marvel, $2.99). Three months in, I'm enraptured by the narrative they're constructing in which Betty Ross has been desperately trying to avert a future that seems to already be happening. Parker has smartly begun reintroducing elements of Jonathan Hickman and Dustin Weaver's landmark SHIELD series, which is interesting because of Waid's tying the original Hulk to the modern version of same. It's also nice to see Parker keeping Machine Man in the mix, since he was in the Red Hulk's series ever since the "Hulk of Arabia" arc some months ago. Pagulayan and Alves's styles mesh well enough, and I'm hoping they're able to keep the series consistent for a while yet, as having two artists working concurrently on each issue beats trading off artists between arcs.

That conclusion to issue #60 does raise some interesting questions. Without spoiling anything, hey, it's not like we didn't see the same thing happen to Jen Walters before (in the late Steve Gerber's opus, "The Cosmic Squish Principle"). I'm just curious as to why it's happened, and what it means for Betty in the immediate future. If you haven't tried this book yet, please, please, please do.

It's been a while since I predicted this series' status quo change, but it's better late than never. THUNDERBOLTS #1 (Marvel, $2.99) gives General Thad "Thunderbolt" Ross a chance to share the spotlight with a team of Marvel's nastiest assassins and killers that's, perhaps ironically, named after himself. The seeds for this group, if the cover's any judge, were planted during Jeph Loeb and Ian Churchill's "Code Red" storyline in Hulk, with some of the extra stuff courtesy the recent "Circle of Four" arc. Writer Daniel Way sets up the story interestingly enough, framing the "pilot" as a conversation between Ross and the Punisher while intermittently flashing back to the incidents wherein he "drafted" the other team members. True, Ross no longer seems to be in hiding like he was in Jeff Parker's series, but it's too early to tell whether that's a good or bad thing. (I like having the Red Hulks' identities be secret to the world at large, as a counterpoint to the green Hulks.)

By far the most surprising thing about this first issue is the identity of the member that isn't on the cover. She's a Hulk foe from way back, and could be just the wild card the new Thunderbolts need. Kudos to Daniel Way. (Just please, please, please don't use the origin Peter David gave her.)

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: The weak link in this series is the horrendously average artwork of Steve Dillon. He works well on a "street-level" series like Punisher; not so much with a book filled with super-powered characters, one of whom is built like a brick outhouse. The book just doesn't have the visual "pop" it should, and a more dynamic artist would be tremendously appreciated, the sooner the better.

Still, this is a quality read and I'm anxious to see this group get together and kick some ass.

Alas, I've saved the best for last. THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #699 (Marvel, $3.99) has surpassed my every expectation. The final arc, "Dying Wish," has everything that I want out of a Spider-Man story: Life-and-death stakes, challenges that cut to the core of Peter Parker's character, insidious villainy, stupendous suspense, and that trademark humor. If you missed the last issue, please run, don't walk, to your local retailer. You can even catch it digitally on ComiXology if you like. If you miss this story, you're missing great comics.

Writer Dan Slott has been seeding this storyline since The Amazing Spider-Man #600 back in 2009. Doctor Octopus has been dying, his all-too-human body slowly breaking down because he's taken too much punishment at the hands of super-powered individuals. His schemes have steadily escalated, until now where he's finally in possession of a super-powered body that will help him show the world who's boss. Unfortunately, that body is our hero's! That's right, Otto Octavius has transferred his consciousness into Peter Parker's body, which means our hero's mind is in a body that is failing him by the hour. Not only that, but Peter-as-Ock's trapped in an underwater prison under armed guard! It can't end this way...can it?

Slott and artist Humberto Ramos bring their "A"-game to this Spider-saga, due to end in The Amazing Spider-Man #700 in just a few weeks' time. The whys and wherefores behind Ock's scheme become crystal clear in this story. Not only that, but the ending and the cliffhanger bring to mind the sagas of yesteryear that we just don't see in comics anymore. You know the kind I'm talking about, because I've written about them before. There's a feeling of momentum building toward the conclusion, rather than something new beginning like in just about every other anniversary issue Marvel and DC put out these days. Let's make no mistake: I want that book, and I want it now. Kudos to Dan Slott and the Spidey team supreme for making me feel that way.

That's enough from me tonight. What d'you think, sirs?



Against Incredible Odds: Who Will Write The Next 'Hulk' Series?

According to Marvel's October 2012 solicitations, made available today, The Incredible Hulk is being "canceled" with issue #15 of its current run by writer Jason Aaron. Putting aside the irony of the series being "doomed" with less-than-stellar reviews being wrapped up by a battle with Doctor Doom, we know in our bones that the company is just readying yet another relaunch of the series as part of their Marvel NOW! campaign that begins the same month.

Coincidentally--or maybe not so much--Hulk, the book that's been starring Thad Ross, the Red Hulk, concludes in August. The book has been sliding down the sales charts lately despite solid stories and artwork. Rumors have it that the series is being relaunched to coincide with Marvel TV's new animated series, Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H. I have my doubts, not the least of which is the fact that in spite of some critical acclaim, Greg Pak's Incredible Hulks series that did pretty much the same thing tumbled down those same sales charts month after month.

Below, I've assembled my own serious picks for the new Hulk series that's sure to debut sometime between November and February. I'm likely to be wrong, but I'm playing the odds here. Somebody could come out of left field (even moreso than some of my suggestions!) and steal the book away.

In order from best chance to worst:

1. Fred Van Lente (2-1) - The odds-on favorite. Mr. Van Lente has closely flirted with Hulk super-stardom, having been buddy-buddy with Greg Pak since the days of Incredible Hercules. He created AIM's Scientist Supreme Monica Rappaccini and her daughter Thasanee, better known as the not-so-new-anymore Scorpion. Peter David one-upped him and established Bruce Banner and "Nicky" had a college fling which just might explain where her dear daughter got her green hair. Since then, those characters have only grown closer to the Hulk. Add in that we're a month away from Fred and Tom Fowler's revision of the Hulk's origin in Hulk: Season One and I think you can see where I'm going with this. The book is poised to introduce a new villain into the Hulk's corner of the Marvel Universe, and it will also plant the Scientist Supreme smack dab into his origin. Why not capitalize on these aspects in the best way possible and bring Fred Van Lente into the fold as the regular series' new writer?

2. Matt Fraction (5-1) - The more radical, yet still safe bet. Matt Fraction has been on the periphery of the Hulk universe for some time, writing the 2011 Fear Itself event which turned the mighty monster into Nul, the Breaker of Worlds. Since then, he's been writing Defenders, showcasing the team of heroes the Hulk is most often associated with--that is, up to this summer's blockbuster film, what was it called...? Anyway, he has enough off-the-wall ideas in books like The Mighty Thor and The Invincible Iron Man that he could very well be right at home scripting the adventures of Earth's Mightiest Mortal. Certainly it would make crossovers between his book and Defenders far easier, which would be a major plus if for no other reason than Betty's over there as Red She-Hulk. I admit, I'd be very curious to see Fraction take over.

3. Jeff Parker (20-1) - The guaranteed hit among Hulk fans. Jeff Parker has been writing the Red Hulk's adventures for about two years now. During that time, he's made the book--in this fan's opinion--a whole lot better than it has any right being, and ludicrously better than Jason Aaron's series about the "real," green-skinned Hulk. Hulk fans have longed to see him cut loose on Bruce Banner the way he has with Thad Ross. The only problem is whether Marvel will see the ever-declining sales figures of Hulk as a reason why he shouldn't be made the main series' writer. While his stories win critical acclaim and old-time fans' hearts, they don't seem to be catching on with the larger contingent of fandom essential to long-term success. Giving Incredible Hulk to Parker would be a gamble, but one I'm certain could pay off, especially if he's teamed with an artist capable of putting asses in seats.

4. Kieron Gillen (40-1) - The longshot with the inside track. Kieron Gillen has been making a name for himself in the Fear Itself spinoff series Journey Into Mystery which many have described as Marvel's very own Sandman (DC's dark fantasy series of the 80s by Neil Gaiman). He's also begun plugging away at the X-Men and, as seen in the above cover, he's written the Red Hulk in battle with Colossus-as-Juggernaut. He's not a big name, but this Brit's star is rising, and as a friend said on Twitter, he "can mix bombastic superhero battles with intricate, character-driven stories, a MUST for Hulk writers." That certainly sounds like a ringing endorsement. Again, pick a stellar artist, and this might be the team to beat.

5. J.M. DeMatteis (100-1) - The diamond in the rough. J.M. DeMatteis hasn't been doing much at Marvel these days, but what he has written has been as awe-inspiring as any of his older work. Like Gillen and Fraction, he really hasn't done anything substantial with the Hulk, his work relegated to a couple of stories in the black-and-white Hulk! magazine and some Defenders work here and there. However, when I recently interviewed him for my Hulk retrospective book, he told me that ol' Greenskin was right in his wheelhouse, as the character dealt with the themes of duality so prevalent in his best work. Anyone who enjoyed his stories in Spectacular Spider-Man, Silver Surfer, and Man-Thing would certainly see where he's coming from. Although he's known for deeper, psychological tales, he's also capable of light humor like in Justice League International and Defenders alongside longtime friend Keith Giffen. He's the best pick on my whole list, and I wish he'd get this gig. Never say never, but if the miracle came that we ever got him on Hulk, we'd never regret it.

Your thoughts?



Why Spider-Man Vs. Spawn Must Happen (An Open Letter to Axel Alonso & Todd McFarlane)

(Special note: Any fans or creators wishing to re-post or share this note may do so with the conditions that I am credited as its sole original writer and that my website, DelusionalHonesty.com, be linked from your posting.)

Dear Axel & Todd:

As you are both well aware, 2012 marks an important time in the "lives" of your companies' most enduring characters. Spider-Man was created by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko 50 years ago in the burgeoning days of of Marvel Comics with its eye toward more realistic super-heroes. Todd, you created Spawn 20 years ago during the explosion of creator-owned sentiment that was Image Comics' raison d'etre. Since then, both characters have enjoyed significant success, be it Spawn's HBO series or the 1997 movie; or Spider-Man's various animated series and 70s live-action TV series and movies throughout the last decade. Spawn #220 recently hit comic shops everywhere, celebrating the 20th anniversary, and in August, Marvel will release Amazing Spider-Man #692, which does the same for his 50th.

Although I know it's far, far too late to do it this year, I think you should really put your heads together and produce what we all know would be the premier comics--nay, pop culture event of 2013.

Spider-Man Vs. Spawn.

While 2012 marked the anniversaries I outlined above, 2013 will be the 25th anniversary of Todd's first work on Spider-Man, a character whom I daresay he changed forever by infusing his unique sensibilities into his design. I imagine, during the 43 issues Todd drew between 1988 and his exit from Marvel in 1991, he turned many a teenage boy (or girl!) into a devoted Spidey fan for life. There's not a creator working on Spider-Man today who doesn't owe something to Todd's work. If you don't believe me, just look at the character's bigger, buggier eyes and the mess of webbing from head to toe and spitting forth from his web-shooters. Arguably, there are two truly huge names among Spider-Man artists. One is Steve Ditko; I hope I don't have to tell you the other.

Spawn started out terrifically in the your hands, Todd. You soon ceded your artistic designs to Greg Capullo, who paved the way for Angel Medina even as you lent the writing reins to your colleague Brian Holguin, who then passed the torch to others. In spite of all this, you've always returned to the character and shown a heartfelt passion for Al Simmons, Terry and Wanda Fitzgerald, little Cyan, and even Malebolgia, Violator, Angela, Cagliostro and others introduced during the early part of the series. Jim Downing, the new Spawn, has continued to develop since his introduction, growing on fans who miss Al most fervently.

In spite of your immense and consistent popularity with comic fandom, I respectfully offer that it's important to reconnect with your roots. There are entire generations of younger comics fans who don't know the enthusiasm with which we fans who were around in the late 80s and early 90s grabbed the newest issue of Amazing Spider-Man or your Spider-Man. There are younger people--a few generations of them by now--who are only familiar with your work as Spawn's creator, or as the guy who bought Mark McGwire's baseball, or the guy who directed a music video or formed a video game studio with Curt Schilling and R.A. Salvatore. Only because of Marvel Comics' relentless graphic novel program do many even know you once, long ago, drew Spider-Man.

Axel, you've done some terrific things in your decade-long career with Marvel Comics. You stepped in when Joe Quesada renovated the company and drove such unique efforts as Peter Milligan and Mike Allred's X-Statix as well as J. Michael Straczynski's Amazing Spider-Man and Bruce Jones's Incredible Hulk. You've also brought various crime writers to Marvel, and helped to start the MAX mature readers label. In short, you've taken chances with Marvel's properties just as often as you've put out crowd-pleasing fare such as the current line-wide event, Avengers Vs. X-Men.

Marvel Comics and Image Comics have both had their share of successful inter-company crossovers, but Marvel hasn't stuck its feet in the water since the deal with Top Cow which produced books like Darkness/Hulk (which reunited Dale Keown with Marvel and the character with whom he was most often affiliated) and Cyberforce/X-Men (ditto for Marc Silvestri). The last crossover Marvel did with any other company was 2008's Magdalena/Daredevil.

Todd, you've been stingier in letting anyone else play with Spawn, letting him briefly pal around with Batman in a duo of one-shots, one of which you illustrated while comics legend Frank Miller wrote it. It wasn't bad, but at the same time, I don't believe it ages particularly well, nor do I think fans were as enthusiastic about a crossover with a character you rarely drew (in Mike W. Barr's excellent Batman: Year Two) as they would have been about a story involving a character you--let's be honest--revolutionized. And there was another Batman/Spawn project brewing, but there has to be one damned good reason why it never happened.

It's the perfect time for the drought to end on both your sides, and you know it.

While Batman and Spawn certainly have certain characteristics in common, it would no doubt be fascinating from a character point of view to bring Spawn into conflict with Spider-Man, a character who is his polar opposite: a hero of the daylight hours who fights with a web and a quip instead of a creature of darkness who uses chains and hellfire. It certainly wouldn't hurt to have the whole thing drawn by the man who, with the exception of a cover for the Ultimate Spider-Man #100 Project, hasn't drawn the character that put him on the map for two decades.

You know also that the project would entice the reading public--fans both old and new--like nothing that Marvel, Image or any other company has created since the formation of Image itself. And I'd imagine such a project would require the largest available canvas. Give the project the gravitas it deserves, not as a mini-series with an inevitable graphic novel collection at the end of the tunnel, but as a Treasury-sized spectacular like the super-project Superman Vs. the Amazing Spider-Man and all their ilk. 64 pages? 80? 100? Doesn't matter. Precious few projects have debuted in this superlative format in recent years, and fewer still have actually deserved it. Not only would comic readers get to see Todd McFarlane drawing Spider-Man again, swinging alongside his own creation for the first time ever; but they'd also see it in a large format actually befitting the event!

I'd also make one final recommendation to sweeten the pot. Everyone knows that you, Todd, have championed creators' rights since you left Marvel. Axel, I know that you and Joe Quesada have worked to establish the good name of Marvel through your works with the Hero Initiative charity. I would suggest the project be created in tandem with the Hero Initiative, with a significant amount of the profits going to the program and the creators it helps. Maybe you don't even have to go that far; maybe if each of Todd's art pages were auctioned off for the Initiative, like the covers contributed to the various "100 Projects" year in and out, that would be a blessing in itself. Put some space in the back and let various "indie" creators draw pin-ups of Spidey/Spawn or their own creations in the back. Make the project all about creators' rights, about benefiting those in need. Work out the reprint rights for subsequent printings and ensure this project is the gift that keeps giving, while you're at it.

Who would write this gem? It's one thing worth discussing. Certainly Marvel elite writer Brian Michael Bendis has the "cred" to script such a gig. He's earned it through working on Spawn and his cast in Hellspawn and Sam & Twitch as well as Marvel's in Ultimate Spider-Man and now the super-project Spider-Men. Certainly another name I'd put up there in an instant would be regular Amazing Spider-Man writer Dan Slott, who knows his way around web-head and could certainly bring well-textured life to a project that needs big action, spot-on characterization and big action set pieces. On the other hand, there's dark horse candidate J.M. DeMatteis, whose work shows both humor and psychological complexity and who does exceptionally well with the duality of good and evil.

You can play fast and loose with the concept, too. If you think it's worthwhile to take a trip back in time, to when Spidey was still married to Mary Jane like in the Michelinie/McFarlane originals, so be it. If you want to use Al Simmons instead of Jim Downing, so be it! If you want to involve Venom and swap his symbiote with Spawn's K7 Leetha, make yourselves happy! If you'd rather have it take place in the here and now, I completely understand that desire, as well.

I've made my thoughts known, gentlemen. It's time to make your voices heard. Whether or not you like this idea, or even see it, I think there can be no overstating the potential good a Spider-Man Vs. Spawn project can do for the industry.

Thanks for reading,

Gary M. Miller


Stay Angry: Or, How Marvel Must Want Me Behaving When Reading "Incredible Hulk"

(Warning: This review contains SPOILERS through this week's Incredible Hulk #8. Re-edited after 1st posting for clarifications.) 

Marvel Comics hates me.

It's been a few months since I've really discussed Jason Aaron's Incredible Hulk. I've had a few reasons for that, not the least of which being my forthcoming book all about the Green Goliath, which will include some commentary on the last several months' worth of stories. That may be the biggest reason, but the fact is, when I'm not discussing the Hulk on this blog, ever since I started posting more regularly about two years ago, it probably means the book just plain sucks.

It happened once before, as Bruce Jones wrote the series into a ditch around the time of the 2003 Ang Lee film. There were some good bits among the bad, but really, the era of decompressed storytelling kicked in with a vengeance, and the Hulk appeared maybe a few times a year in his own series while Banner became an everyman to whom we somehow still couldn't relate, involved in an overly labyrinthine conspiracy story.

It's happening again today, courtesy Jason Aaron and a bevy of artists who can't seem to stay on the book for any length of time. Marc Silvestri managed three issues (more or less); Whilce Portacio managed four; and now we're on our second of what will be, minimum, six artists who aren't sticking around longer than a single issue. We're told that each issue has a different artist to give each story a flavor of its own, and that "Stay Angry" is a five-part storyline that is made of individual tales with an overarching theme. I'm convinced that the book is really so far behind schedule--or that Marvel is pushing an accelerated publishing schedule upon the series--that they have no choice but to use artists in swift rotation.

The ending of "Hulk Vs. Banner"--the four-part storyline that Portacio drew--was no surprise to readers of this blog or anybody who was really following the storyline for any length of time. Since there was a Gamma Bomb on Banner's island, and since Amanda Von Doom and her henchmen were not in the practice of leaving mad scientists alive, you knew Banner would bite the big one. You also knew that, since Dr. Doom cloned him to "separate" him from the Hulk in the first place, it wouldn't be permanent. Furthermore, Doom obviously had plans inside of plans, because that's just how devious a M.F. he is!

I told everyone about the storyline that would proceed forth from the end of "Hulk Vs. Banner," and that eventually--maybe in a month, maybe in a year, Banner would be alive again and be re-merged with the Hulk. I believed that because the Banner that Doom created was a clone, the Hulk was only avoiding changing back and forth to Banner because he believed Banner to no longer be inside him. A flick of Doom's fingers, and the puny scientist would return, with full awareness of what the Hulk did to a being he believed was him. Cue new, dramatic status quo about how these two really feel about one another, albeit without Raving Loon Banner™.

Incredible Hulk #7.1 shipped a few weeks ago, and initially, I thought I was right. Certainly the issue, still written by Aaron with artwork by Jefte Palo, seemed to go in the right direction, with the Hulk doing everything he wanted to do now that he was finally sans Banner, only to find out on the final page that--surprise, surprise!--Banner had never really gone anywhere. The story had some funky sexual overtones, with a scene between Hulk and Red She-Hulk right in the middle of a city (while the Orb, an old Ghost Rider villain that Aaron somehow perversely enjoys, looks on). And Aaron had to reveal that the Hulk was thinking about his creation Amanda Von Doom the entire time, natch. But hey! Banner's back, and the dynamic of the book's going to shift somewhere interesting, because this isn't evil Banner, right?

Wrong. In "Stay Angry" Aaron reveals that the Gamma Bomb inexplicably fused Raving Loon Banner™ back together with the Hulk, which appears to have been Doom's dastardly evil plan all along. Further, the Hulk no longer has any memory of what happens when Banner is in control. And to top it all off, Banner appears to be going around from unusual situation to unusual situation, doing mad scientist-y things that leave the Hulk questioning just what the hell he's up to whenever he changes. Suffice to say, Banner might even be planning just where and when he changes, in order to keep the Hulk stymied.

The one good thing that Aaron appears to be doing is re-establishing anger as the trigger for the Banner-to-Hulk metamorphosis; or, at the very least, anger keeps the Hulk from transforming. His idea is a little like the Neveldine/Taylor Crank series of movies, in that to stay in control, the Hulk needs to stay angry. But inevitably he must be subdued, either by gas, or something else, and then Banner re-emerges. We never see Banner, but know that he must be up to no good, because we see his handiwork--a detached doggy-finger--and next thing we know, the Hulk awakens in a strange locale with a stitched-up hole in his chest.

Aaron's story gives echoes of Peter David's earliest stories, wherein Banner and the Gray Hulk jockeyed for control. Unfortunately, the similarities end there: According to both the series' recap pages and some in-story dialogue, it's made clear that this is "insane" Banner from the first seven stories. Gone is the sympathetic, even heroic Banner from as recently as last year, and Lord only knows if he'll return anytime soon. Even the Hulk--at least a little sympathetic in the first two arcs to counterbalance Banner--is brutal and ruthless in this story, teaming up with the Punisher--another of Aaron's pet projects--to track down some dog-faced drug-runners. He drags one of them from the back of a truck for several miles. I'd expect this out of the Punisher, but the Hulk?

There's a way of making Banner seem like the "bad guy" in the Hulk's eyes without actually doing it, but Aaron's stories have all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. Put this bluntness together with these personalities, and you have two unappealing main characters without any vaguely heroic traits, only selfish ones. Without any relatability for Banner or the Hulk, the series loses the same qualities as recent movie efforts lost without a Bill Bixby-esque actor in the lead. (More on the need for a heroic protagonist in that book o' essays, promise!)

The artwork in this storyline isn't any better. Steve Dillon may be a great artist on gritty crime dramas like Punisher or Preacher, but big green monsters aren't his forte and this issue proves it in spades. Say what you will about Marc, Whilce, and Jefte, but at least they knew how to show the Hulk to scale. Dillon's Hulk is a lean character that owes more to Lou Ferrigno than to any Hulk artist of the last few decades. And hey, with a healing factor that can recover from virtually any wound, why is the Hulk still bald after three whole issues?

Aaron's abhorrent treatment of Banner to create a new and edgy dynamic for this series is a big reason why the book has lost virtually all its charm in my eyes, and the rotating string of extremely mediocre or ill-fitting artists just makes this book tumble further on down the list. Now that I see what Aaron's game is in "Stay Angry" and what it likely means for the remainder of his run, it can't be over soon enough. About the only way I could imagine this series improving would be if the Hulk, impossible as it currently sounds, decides there's something wrong with Banner, and wants to genuinely help him because he was never like this before and Doom made him this way.

Who knows? Maybe Doom will point the Hulk in the direction of the Marvel offices. And maybe this infernal storyline will be over, so I won't have to "Stay Angry."

Ahem. Your thoughts?



Puny God ("Marvel's The Avengers," Reviewed)

Yes, I've been away writing that book you've heard so much about. Let's remedy that, shall we?

Like many of you, last weekend I went to my local movie theatre to see what's being considered one of this summer's premier events: Marvel's The Avengers, a two-and-a-half hour roller coaster ride of a film starring the headliners from the comic company's five recent in-house productions. In addition to the invincible Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), the incredible Hulk (Mark Ruffalo, taking over for Ed Norton), the mighty Thor (Chris Hemsworth) and Captain America (Chris Evans), several other characters seized the spotlight, including SHIELD director Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson), agent Maria Hill (Cobie Smulders), Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) and the Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson).

There was an indefinable energy filling the theatre when my friend Harold and I entered. Of course, I didn't go for just any screening of the film: We bought tickets to the all-day "Ultimate Marvel Marathon" put on by AMC Theatres, wherein all of the previous films were screened back-to-back from 11:30 in the morning all the way through the grand midnight Avengers premiere. The theatre was jam-packed with comics fans in their various T-shirts and other regalia recalling the heroes who were to appear on the screen all day long. (My choice of attire: You need to ask?) Each fan who attended received a special lanyard granting them access in and out of the building, a special release Avengers comic book, and one of four styles of Real D 3D glasses (available in Captain America, Hulk, Iron Man and Thor designs...again, guess which?).

The excitement level started out high, and only elevated throughout the day. Unfortunately, this theatre didn't receive the special introductions by Clark Gregg in his role of Agent Coulson that other AMC Theatres screened. I understand they were quite fun, and I'd like nothing more than to actually see them. Alas, the movies were draw enough. Up front were 2008's Iron Man and  The Incredible Hulk, followed by 2010's Iron Man 2 and 2011's tag-team of Thor and Captain America. In between some of the screenings, theatre employees gave away goodie bags and other special odds and ends to fans who answered depressingly easy trivia questions.

And then, the curtain rose on the final film at midnight. The moment of truth had arrived: Would writer/director Joss Whedon rise to the challenge of directing an action-packed feature filled with the heart and soul we knew was at the core of the mighty Marvel Universe?

You're damned right he would!

From the very first frames--a markedly slow beginning which served to introduce the Cosmic Cube Tesseract, the "MacGuffin" of the piece, locked away in the SHIELD and NASA-sponsored Project: PEGASUS (which any reader of seventies series Marvel Two-in-One will recognize)--I knew something special was happening. And when Loki (Tom Hiddleston) arrived, absconding with the Tesseract and narrowly escaping the Project's destruction, the stage was set. Fury began to assemble his team, and it was a sight to behold, having the stars assembled from the previous films begin to interact and their personalities begin to grate on each other.

Joss Whedon admitted he modeled much of the movie after The Dirty Dozen and Black Hawk Down, war movies which centered not on an overly labyrinthine plotline but on the characters that made up their respective groups. In many ways, Avengers is as much an origin story as Iron Man or Captain America, but instead of showing how the characters got their powers, it's a tale of how they learned to all tolerate each other's annoyances and shortcomings in order to beat the big bad. Yes, Loki is a scenery-chewing antagonist, and yes, he has a rather generic plan to enslave Earth's populace. He has an army which is generally ill-defined but who attack in such terrific numbers that any single super-hero would feel overwhelmed. The characterization of the villains really isn't as important as the scope of their operation. Whedon knows the best way to attack the narrative is in bringing out all the heroes' unique and sometimes grating personalities, and watching the fireworks.

Robert Downey Jr. has the majority of the film's best lines as "genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist" Tony Stark, once eliminated from consideration in Fury's Avenger Initiative but now recruited just the same. He's got a bone to pick with just about every member of the team, but learns to work with them just the same. (Especially brilliant is his line to Ruffalo's Banner about just how he's able to control his inner monster. I cackled for a good few minutes afterward.) As any fan of Whedon's television programs (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly, et al.) will tell you, the writer/director is an expert at intelligent, snappy dialogue, and here it's no different. The movie is intensely quotable, from Stark's commentary on Thor's cape, to Thor's admission that Loki is his adopted brother, to Loki's quite misogynistic insult toward the Widow. (Yes, let's do look up "mewling quim" and gasp at what we find.) The bottom line is that the snappy dialogue works not just because it's smartly written by Whedon, but because in virtually every case, it all rings true with the characters involved, which is no mean feat in a super-hero film.

Such character moments don't often occur in an action extravaganza like Avengers, and let's make no mistake: This is an action-packed film. And while Downey's Stark may be the master of the witticism, he's physically upstaged in virtually every way by the ever-incredible Hulk. As motion-captured by Ruffalo himself, he steals literally every scene in which he appears, without exception. He may not talk much--and in fact, the theatre was so loud during one of his biggest moments that one could scarcely hear his clearest and perhaps only line of dialogue--but he more than makes up for that economy with the sheer, visceral thrill of seeing him match up against Thor and all manner of alien creatures, cutting loose as only the Hulk from the comics previously could. If you've been upset by the Hulk's seemingly lower strength levels in previous films, you'll find that issue remedied here. This is the Hulk you've been waiting years to see, and I'm hoping against hope that Mark Ruffalo gets to star in his own Incredible Hulk film sooner than later, penned by Whedon or one of his many traditional accomplices. Between actor and writer/director, they have given the character such a synergy that it'd be criminal to not have this character burst free into his own film once more. The formula is just right.

I don't want to go on too long about the movie because I really feel it's important that you see it, and so I'm really holding back on the spoilers. Suffice to say that by the time the ending credits roll, most diehard Marvel Zombies will feel like they've seen the be-all, end-all of super-hero movies. By sharp contrast with Christopher Nolan's Batman cycle, Whedon's Avengers is an unabashed celebration of the super-hero genre rather than a deconstructionist, "real-life" take. Since everyone knows I'm one of the biggest Hulk fans there is, I relish the larger-than-life qualities of that character and the remainder of the characters in Avengers. There are precious few issues with the story--I still don't like Hawkeye's status throughout the first half of the film--but they're outnumbered so greatly by "stand-up-and-cheer" moments that it's hard to remain upset.

And that ending? Stay all the way to the end, folks! You'll see not only the setup for another Marvel film (likely Avengers 2, the threat so great), but also a humorous payoff to what you'd likely believed was a throwaway line in the final battle.

I don't mean to gush, but this is one staggering sci-fi super-hero epic. It really doesn't get any better than this. The Avengers have assembled, and comic book films will never again be the same.



The Hulk Is 50. Join Me In An Incredible Celebration!

No doubt by now you've seen the graphic on the last few issues of The Amazing Spider-Man. Large as life, with a stylish, instantly recognizable pose straight from the great John Romita Sr. Fifty years of Spider-Man. He's fifty! Just like the Fantastic Four was fifty last year! It's certainly shaping up to be a banner year for the amazing one, with the new Sony Pictures film helmed by Marc Webb, as well as Dan Slott and Stefano Caselli's "Ends of the Earth" event beginning this week. And yet, for all the celebrating, I can't help but feel somebody's getting left out. Is his green skin a sign of envy toward Marvel's resident wall-crawler? Or is skin color immaterial, and he's just getting...angry about it?

That's right, Hulk fans: 2012 marks the fiftieth anniversary of the creation of our favorite hero, too! "Is He Man or Monster or...Is He BOTH?" intoned Stan Lee on the cover copy of the first issue, cover-dated May of 1962. All these years later, such is the central theme for the character still. He's gone through countless incarnations, from the original, brutish gray incarnation who only stuck around for the first issue; to the green-skinned counterpart who gradually lost his intelligence, resulting in the version which non-comics fans know best; to the Merged Hulk who was a staple of comics in the nineties; to the savvy, planet-conquering gladiator who was the centerpiece of Marvel's 2007 event "World War Hulk"; and far, far beyond. Ol' Greenskin has entertained generations of comics fans, and after fifty years of doing just that, he's earned a celebration as grand as any super-hero in existence.

And yet, all we hear from Marvel is that the Avengers have their own feature film this year, and yes, that Hulk character's a part of it. We had a comic book series that was nearly to its 650th issue, but the company had to cancel relaunch it with a new first issue late last year. That series has been woefully inconsistent and, I feel, isn't truly capturing the power and majesty of the Hulk. Nobody's mentioning the Hulk as having been created fifty years ago, and nobody appears to be lining up special projects, variant covers, or anything of the like commemorating the event. Nobody's embracing the character's rich history.

This is the part where I come in and tell you to spread the word. Copy the above graphic I've designed. Bend it, shape it, any way you want it. You've got the power. Stick it on your website or blog. Put it in your Twitter or Facebook profile. And please, link back here if you can. Raise awareness that Bug-Eyes can't hog all Hulk's glory, because Hulk is the strongest one there is!

Even if Marvel doesn't do anything about the incredible one's golden anniversary, that doesn't mean someone won't. Like, y'know, me.

Many of you have been wondering why I haven't been around as much lately. Why haven't I been entertaining everyone with new articles for this blog a few times a week like I did pretty much all last year? Had the G-Man finally run out of things to talk about?

Quite the opposite, mes amis.

Yours truly has been writing. And writing. And writing some more--but not, as you'd imagine, for this blog. I've got a huge project in the works and I've been aching to share it with all of you. I've wanted to complete enough of it that I can't turn back, to be confident in my own abilities and what I'm writing, before officially announcing the project.

You guys (and gals) all know me as a veritable font of historical knowledge when it comes to the Hulk. I've been a fan for many, many years. I've read the comics and books, I've seen the movies and TV series, I've played the video games and bought the toys. I know people, and I know all kinds of stories. I know what might have been and what nearly was. And Lord knows, I have opinions about the last fifty years of stories. There are stories I love that very few others enjoy, and there are some highly-praised tales I don't give a damn about. Of course there are others I agree are real gems, and still others, real stinkers.

The most comprehensive guide to the world of the incredible Hulk hasn't been published yet...but you can bet that it's being written right now. Part history lesson, part literary criticism, it's going to knock you off your feet with all the force of a Gamma Bomb detonation. Whether you're a dyed-in-the-wool Hulk fan from way back, or someone who's only picked up on the importance of the character since you've been reading this very blog, this book is designed for you.

Need more reasons to pick up this book when it finally arrives? How about the original interviews I'm conducting for it? As of this writing, I've been talking to comics pros like Tom Brevoort, Steve Englehart, Glenn Greenberg, Paul Jenkins, Erik Larsen, Al Milgrom, Greg Pak, and Daniel Way--and that's just the beginning. (Yes, Twitter and Formspring count...and more creators are TBA!) Where possible, I'll be bringing you the behind-the-scenes stories, the might-have-beens--everything that was and wasn't.

Meanwhile, if you've got ideas you want to see in this book, reply here! Although I'm well past the halfway point in writing, and I've got plans to cover all the important bits of Hulk history, I figure there's always a chance I'll have missed something and you guys'll remind me. I'm just trying to head off that possibility.

Similarly, if you're a creator who hasn't yet been contacted, and wish to contribute, then reply here or send me a message at delusionalhonesty [at] gmail [dot] com.

More information as it becomes available, my friends. The current plan is to release the book on the Amazon Kindle, with a limited print edition. The book will be fully researched, fully sourced, and totally unauthorized in order to bring you, the Hulk's fans, a once-in-a-lifetime event.

Join me in wishing the Hulk a happy 50th.



At Long Last: Amazing Arizona Con 2012

Howdy all,

Back in January, I attended the Amazing Arizona Comic Convention at the Mesa Convention Center in downtown Mesa, AZ. I renewed some acquaintances and met some great people in the three-day event. Presented in this blog entry are a bunch of photos taken by Agustin Alanis. Sketches procured by yours truly from artists on the show floor are shown, where possible, right beside the artist who did the work! Click on images for larger versions.

Where appropriate, I've linked the talents and people shown. If you find you or your works are displayed, uncredited, in one of the pictures below, please contact me (at delusional honesty at gmail dot com) and I'll add your name and a link to your website if applicable.

If anyone enjoys Mr. Alanis' brilliant work and wishes to see more and/or hire him for a photography gig in the greater Phoenix area, look no further than his Facebook page.

One of the big draws at comic conventions today is cosplay, and this show was no different! On every day of the show, one could see any number of fans dressing up in the (sometimes extraordinarily elaborate) costumes of their favorite heroes and villains...as well as, well, judge for yourself! You asked for cosplayers--you got 'em!





Some of the cosplayers at the show were there to promote new comics, like Lindsay Elyse, dressed as one of the characters from Ardden's Knightingail:

Then, there was AZ convention fixture Cara Nicole, also known as AZ Powergirl! You can "Like" her fan page on Facebook:

Out on the show floor, a few exhibitors showed their terrific props and other goods, both for sale and for show!

The Monster Shop is a part of Hall of Fame Collectables in Mesa, AZ. They've got original props, autographs, collector masks, and other limited edition goods. You can visit their website or "Like" their Facebook page. And below you can see a mask of Doug Bradley as your favorite Pinhead!

Chainsaw Killers Anonymous Studios specializes in photography and prop construction. They had a setup at the show with armor like that shown in the Predator series of motion pictures. Check out the picture below, then visit CKA Studios' website!

If you're more in the mood for just looking at scary figures instead of buying them, perhaps Monsterland in Mesa, AZ is more your speed! At the show, they had some of their exhibits on display. Scary, well-crafted stuff! If you're in the area, stop by--I know I'll be headed there soon. For more information, visit the Monsterland website. They also have a presence on both Facebook and Twitter.

With the rest of the show out of the way, it's time to show you some of the many creators from around the show floor. Writers! Artists! This show had a bevvy of them, and some even had the time to indulge me and draw some sketches for my collection!

I finally had the chance to meet up with Joshua Hale Fialkov, writer of Last of the Greats and I, Vampire, both of which you should all be reading! Josh attended the show alongside artist Tony Fleecs, who had some great prints available, including a noir-styled take on Cyclops and Emma Frost that I just had to pick up. Visit Josh's website and Tony's Fleecs Design page, and do it now.

Next up--and the guy who was on the receiving end of my first demand request for a sketch was Los Angeles artist Gerimi Burleigh. Gerimi has written and drawn the original graphic novel Eyes of the Gods and is now hard at work on a new project, Morningstar, about Lucifer's fall recast as a western. If you like his work, visit his website here.

Across the way from Gerimi I discovered a kindred spirit in my historical knowledge of comics in J. Scooter Harris, a writer and artist who is the brains behind Studio Hadra. Scotter has a very distinctive style with heavy brush strokes, and had a number of original works--most touching on burlesque culture--with him. We discussed old Marvel and DC comics, we discussed Archie comics, we discussed "good girl" art--and I scored the below (rather terrific) Vampirella piece from him. Scooter's also the writer/artist behind Studio Hadra's True Crime Theater comic series, and his illustrations are often found in burlesque magazines everywhere. Pay him a visit, why don't you?

An aisle over from Gerimi and Scooter, I met up with Joel Gomez, who's currently background artist on Detective Comics. Joel is an affable gent, and he readily agreed to draw another in a series of unusual requests--Kirk Langstrom, the Man-Bat! Joel is everywhere online these days, having his own deviantART page, his own tumblr, and yes, he even tweets!

Artist Jon Hughes had some terrific examples of his work on display at the show. I remembered seeing his art the previous year. One of these days, I'm going to get a commissioned piece from him. In the meantime, you can marvel at his work below, plus find him at his website, JonHughesArt.com!

Image Comics alum and Hyperwerks co-founder Karl Altstaetter was also at the show. Karl is most notable for having created Deity, who fronted her own series of miniseries. Since Karl's always drawn some lovely ladies, I thought he'd be the perfect artist to draw the New Teen Titans' Starfire in her original costume. I don't know about you, but I wasn't disappointed with the final result in the least! Karl can be found online at both the Hyperwerks website and his own blog.

In the middle of it all, I somehow found time to meet up with local artist made good Tony Parker, who's killing it right now on Aspen's Dead Man's Run alongside this site's very good friend, writer Greg Pak. With the #0 issue out--but the first formal issue not quite there yet--it was a terrific time to talk with Tony. Right around the corner, the Aspen booth did have preview copies of the first issue with an exclusive cover, which I snagged and reviewed in an earlier blog post. Since the second issue is coming out next Wednesday, there's no better time to pick up the series and enjoy Tony's terrific work!

Keeping up with the theme of sketches involving the women of comics, I noticed local creator Alfred Trujillo had some interesting pieces lined up at his table. I couldn't resist giving him an Incredible Hulks #635 sketch cover and asking him to draw Red She-Hulk. How d'you think he did? Alfred has his own web presence at his site.

Last--but certainly far from least--is another local artist, Val Hochberg of Bad Karma Productions. She has a manga-influenced style that caught my eye, and since I was already on a roll with sketches of the Hulk family, I thought why not see what she can do with Lyra, the Savage She-Hulk? It's the best piece of the show, in my not-so-humble opinion! Visit Val at BadKarmaProductions.com.

Last? Did I really say "last"? Au contraire, mes amis! Although that was the end of the sketches, there's no way I could end this blog entry on any photo other than this one, right here, right now, mutha#####s! It's the star of Twitter's #laymanvsscorpions hashtag--and, oh yeah, co-creator of Image Comics' Chew, it's...John Layman! (You can find him on Twitter, or on his blog.)

And, yeah, some schmuck in a Reverse Flash t-shirt. Who is that guy, anyway?

See everyone next year! Same Bat-time, same Bat-channel!